No one cares if you're smart or not. That's because you're a pirate! We all love pirates! They speak funny and they dress funny. Whether they're moronic or not, pirates are a good time.

Murder is the oldest of all sins. You are a passionate felon. You don't kill for the money; you do it for the pleasure. There is nothing like stabbing a victim in the chest to really get your heart going in the morning. It's better than a cup of coffee!

You are a rascal, and a social deviant. You are happiest when you're causing trouble, and pissing off the authorities. A cherry bomb down the toilet or tagging your name? Who knows what you are going to do next!