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"Darkness Falls? That's me.
Spanganga? Also me.
Splosh? Me and my roommate.
I have dedicated my life to chainsawing..."
More about Sean
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Schools:
Coral Gables Senior High School, Attended 1984 - 1998, Class of 1988
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College/University:
University of Miami, Attended 1988 - 1992, Class of 1992, Bachelor's Degree, Creative Writing
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Occupation:
drone
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Hobbies and Interests:
Rolling with bad girls who tease good boys
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Favorite Books:
Who reads anymore?, The Onion, The Smoking Gun, The Invisible Man, Confederacy of Dunces, ee cummings, Neuromancer
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Favorite Movies:
Freeway, Wave Twisters, Triumph of Victory, The Third Man, Porn, Ed Wood, Rushmore, Reservoir Dogs, Lolita, Dr Strangelove, Blue Velvet, Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles, Drunken Master 2, Election, Jack Ass the movie, The Producers, Star Wars
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Favorite Music:
Music good to fuck or fight to, Sonic Youth, Kraftwerk, The Vines, The Strokes, Electric 6, Outkast, Tito Puente, Iron Maiden, The Fucking Champs, The Pixies, The Breeders, Weezer, Bootsy Collins, Funkadelic, James Brown, NOFX, Public Enemy, Black Sabbath
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Favorite TV Shows:
Any tv show with hot alien tail, welding, puppies, sharks, octopus, squid; Jack Ass, South Park, The Simpsons, The McLaughlin Group
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About Me:
Darkness Falls? That's me.
Spanganga? Also me.
Splosh? Me and my roommate.
I have dedicated my life to chainsawing stuffed animals
held by evil naked clowns and hot girls. I like doing
short performances that make crowds scream with terror
then delight. People, you all need some sean kelly in your
life.
I make short films about bacon porno, or dogs running
around in slow motion.
I have a medical exam table in my house.
I am nice.
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Who I Want to Meet:
People who will get me into misdemeanor grade trouble and
get me out of felony grade trouble. People who like to
dance.
Action.
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genius; I say extremely talented and
extremely dedicated / hard-working. Oh,
and genius.
something they do not make hallmark
cards about, talk him out of it, Sean is
a maniac who will not turn down a bet, a
dare, a stuffed animal slaughtering or a
bikini waxing. He is the lord of chaos,
of the abyss, of the single sock at the
back of the closet. Behold Sean and
despair, or celebrate, whatever.
Fairmont. Those elements will always
stick out in my mind. Sean Kelly and I
have explored the singed edges of our
psyche in the dingy dreamlands of
Miami. We have returned from those
ecstaic often tortured, teeth grinding
sojourns stronger, fitter and for
whatever reason saner. I miss his
acidic witt, and exhortations to excel
in everything I do.
y'all and I don't know the half of it. To scratch
the surface he's an entrepeneur, an
entertainer, a walking sex-crime and good
back up in a blindfolded naked knife fight in
the bottom of gravel pit.
a girl it would be Sean.
trunk-lid of Sean's car on our way to
the quarry to dump off some, uh,
anyway, Sean did not freak out. Sean
just pulled some lube out of his
futility belt and eased my flesh out of
the hinges. Like, Dudeface was
all, "Get out the belt sander," but
Sean got me out of the tight spot with
just a big bruise, and not missing any
nipples. Then he took me to In-N-Out
Burger, and they gave us free fries
with our shakes. Whupass.
the last minute, "Hey, would you like
to be in a bathtub make-out scene with
a hot -taken- chick for our rock
video?" And he'll drop what he's doing
and say, yeah. I mean, what a pro. How
many guys would agree to that? Wow. And
at his birthday party, my friend and I
started a cake fight to the Purple Rain
soundtrack, I mean people were throwing
cake like monkeys with shit, thus
ruining the chair of a friend of his,
and he like didn't even get mad. He's
also completely and utterly evil, and I
bet he's probably figured out a way to
own your soul without you even knowing
it. What more could a city want?
pinching his nipples with the kiddie
cowboy hat on I get hard. I mean
wet. Well, you know what I mean.
Actually the truth is that I don't
mean either. I laugh out loud (lol)
then I realize that this man is
awfully impressive in a great number
of ways and one funny mother fucker.
Just stay away from mine, okay?
overalls sans shirt look like Sean
does. At least since Dexy's Midnight
Runners. Meee-yow!
is just the way we like it.