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"I seem to be losing enemies fast. Perhaps that's a by-product of getting older. Oh, well, there are always new people to..."
More about Emma
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More About Emma
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Occupation:
animal handler/ 12-pack killa
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Affiliations:
30 -Pack Cougars, Cougars Gun Club, Cougars Fight Club, Cougars Cat Club, Trapped in the Cougars, Cougars Undead Defense League, Rad Religion
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Hobbies and Interests:
Basketball, shuffleboard (table), pinball, black-and-white cats, delicious foods, boys, seeing people naked, being naked, Scrabble, brown liquors, salty meats, preparing for the coming zombie apocalypse
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Favorite Books:
Evan S. Connell, H. Murakami, Stewart O'Nan, Bulgakov, Auster, Fitzgerald
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Favorite Movies:
Kicking & Screaming (Noah Baumbauch), Phantom of the Paradise, Black Throat, Eyes Without a Face, Black Narcissus, Cruel Intentions, Can't Hardly Wait, Dr. Strangelove, Dark Victory, Nashville, All About Eve, Kikujiro, Bloodsport
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Favorite Music:
Trapped in the Closet, Trapped in the Closet, Trapped in the Closet. Roger and I are committed to illegally distributing this masterpiece to the masses. If you are seriously interested, I can get you a copy.
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Favorite TV Shows:
Passions, Jeopardy, Korean gameshows
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Zodiac Sign:
Libra
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About Me:
I seem to be losing enemies fast. Perhaps that's a by-product of getting older. Oh, well, there are always new people to alienate. I enjoy drinking and things naturally associated with drinking, such as seeing people naked and singing when you probably shouldn't be singing.
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Who I Want to Meet:
Moms and dads, meat enjoyers, tall fellows, Prince
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Testimonials and Comments for Emma
The nonreturnable orders are in.
Prince will be my date.
We have everything under control.
do.
arch enemies, which is cute. Really I
don't know what she's talking about; I
love her even more than the baby
Jesus.
Just ask the forty drooling guys (and
me) fighting for dibs when she
channels Prince at karaoke.
at the Hidden Cove when she whipped out
this Pat B. karaoke. It was lost
somewhere between a cheerleading
routine and Swan Lake. I think she was
wearing clogs... how she managed to
keep them on throughout the numerous
scissor kicks was astounding. Then
there was this other time when Emma
scared the shit outta me as I left the
building to go to the Post Office...
and she was just standing there
smoking... just smoking. Creepy but
somehow ingenius.
Emma and I all seem to get hungry at
the same time. Then we end up at the
Flying Saucer. Uncanny...
genius. Not in the "Hey man your idea
is genius way but in the "My IQ is
120 way. Emma is so smart that
conventional society is absolutely too
frustrating and "tiresome for her,
which is why she should just be a
cabaret singer at the "Gaslight
Lounge or win MILLLIONS of DOLLARS on
Jeopardy. I think that the only really
important things in life to know I
learned from Emma, which is why she is
one of my best friends. You know stuff
like kissing girls, Melrose Place,
Harold and Maude, making out with two
boys in one night, etc. Emma is also a
tell-it-like-it-is kind of a person.
If you ever want to know the honest
truth about yourself, ask her. Smart,
funny, honest, witty, bootilicous ...I
could go on for hours but the "Cat got
my liver and "What do YOU know about
bein' Nubian? and basically "Dude
man, Emma sucks...sucks."
of Emma's hair. Ahh, yes! The volley
of "I crush on you, you crush on me"
was quite fantastic. Considering the
current state of my girl-relations, I'm
not quite sure I ever evolved passed
this point. I only know it was more fun
back then and with people like Emma.