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    • Testimonials and Comments for Marco

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      • debra
      • Posted
      • are you on the myspace?
      • Sapna
      • Posted
      • my one true Gujarati brother...we
        Gujus have to stick close. Marco
        grabbed my ass once, on his '03
        birthday, but he was very drunk. he
        denied that it meant anything; i liked
        it anyway. fearless, true, good, and
        heartful - Marco is my hero. and one
        of these days, he's going to quit
        teasing me, ditch all his other
        girlfriends, and we'll get married.
      • Brian
      • Posted
      • Marco's Birthday Present Mini-Comic -
        2/6/04

        MARCO IN...
        PURPLE-ER THAN THOU

        Page 1

        Panel 1. Full page spread. Marco, in
        a blue and grey flannel shirt and
        baggy green pants that haven't been
        washed in a couple weeks, is walking
        down a busy New York street, on his
        way to MidTown Comics. It is
        Wednesday, obviously. In the
        distance, we see Spider Woman web-
        slinging her way toward us.

        Page 2 consists of six panels, two
        across and three down.

        Panel 1. Spider Woman (Jessica Drew,
        not the other one) is hanging upside
        down from some webbing and has
        surprised Marco in his tracks.
        SPIDER WOMAN:
        MARCO, I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS.
        MARCO:
        WHAT IS IT, JESSICA DREW, ALSO KNOWN
        AS SPIDER WOMAN?

        Panel 2. Close on Spider Woman, still
        upside down.
        SPIDER WOMAN:
        IT'S THE PURPLE MAN. HE'S STILL UPSET
        YOU UNDERESTIMATED HIM AS A VILLAIN AT
        THE END OF THE ALIAS SERIES.

        Panel 3. A dimensional portal has
        opened next to Marco and Spiderwoman.
        Dazzler looks over her shoulder as she
        walks through.
        DAZZLER:
        THANKS, GATEWAY. I KNEW YOU'D KNOW
        WHERE TO FIND MARCO.

        Panel 4. Spider Woman and Dazzler
        stand side by side in front of Marco.
        DAZZLER:
        THANK GOODNESS I'VE FOUND YOU.

        THE PURPLE MAN HAS TAKEN YOUR FISH
        TANK HOSTAGE.
        SPIDER WOMAN:
        WHAT WILL YOU DO?

        Panel 5. Close on Marco
        MARCO:
        NOT TO WORRY, LADIES. I'VE
        UNDERESTIMATED THE PURPLE MAN BEFORE,
        AND I'LL UNDERESTIMATE HIM AGAIN.

        Panel 6. Back to Dazzler and Spider
        Woman, who are looking at each other
        with confused expressions.

        Page 3

        Panel 1. Not actually a panel. Full
        page spread. It's a picture of a
        birthday cake floating in a black
        background.

        Page 4 Consists of four equal-sized
        panels taking up the top half of the
        page and one panel taking up the
        bottom half.

        Panel 1. Close on Marco.
        MARCO:
        WHOA. DID YOU SEE THAT?

        WEIRD.

        Panel 2. In a puff of smoke and a bad
        sound effect, Orko, from the He-Man
        cartoon, appears.
        DAZZLER:
        IT'S ORKO, FROM TV'S HE-MAN CARTOON.

        Panel 3. Close on Orco.
        ORKO:
        BE CAREFUL, MARCO. THE PURPLE MAN'S
        COMING. HE SAYS HE'S GOING TO TURN
        YOU INTO AN UGLY RETARDED GIRL.

        Panel 4. Up walks the Purple Man. He
        is smiling, evilly.
        PURPLE MAN:
        I AM GOING TO DEFEAT YOU! AND EAT
        YOUR FISH.

        Panel 5. There is a small rectangular
        inset panel in the bottom right of
        this panel. In the main panel, on the
        left side, we see Orko, Spider Woman,
        Dazzler and Superman all cowering
        behind Marco who is looking out
        directly at the reader. To the right,
        we see the Purple Man, looking
        supercilious. Behind him, he is
        holding the handle to a wagon with a
        fish tank in it.
        MARCO:
        YOU KNOW, THIS IS STARTING TO REMIND
        ME A LITTLE OF THAT SIMPSONS EPISODE
        WHERE HOMER IS SUPPOSED TO BUY LISA A
        DIARY BUT INSTEAD BUYS HER
        A "PERSONAL MOVIE WITH HER HEAD
        PASTED INTO THE VIDEO AND HE GETS ALL
        THE INFORMATION ABOUT HER LIKES AND
        DISLIKES WRONG.

        EXCEPT THAT THIS IS A COMIC BOOK, NOT
        A MOVIE.

        AND I'M MARCO, NOT LISA.

        AND MOST OF THIS INFORMATION ABOUT MY
        LIKES AND DISLIKES IS ACCURATE.

        The inset panel is up close on the
        Purple Man's eyes, which are wide with
        fear.

        Page 5 consists of 4 panels each
        taking up a corner quarter of the page.

        Panel 1. The Purple Man is lying on
        the ground, dead. Everyone is
        standing around his body.
        SPIDER WOMAN:
        WOW. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

        Panel 2. Close on Dazzler.
        DAZZLER:
        DIDN'T YOU KNOW, JESSICA? MARCO'S
        POWER IS TO KILL BY USING INANE
        SIMPSONS REFERENCES.

        BUT IT'S EVEN MORE POTENT BECAUSE HE
        PROCESSES INFORMATION AND ALLUDES THE
        SIMPSONS IN A MILLION DIFFERENT WAYS
        AS THE PERSON SPEAKS.

        Panel 3. Pan back a bit so we can see
        all three Dazzler, Spider Woman and
        Orko.
        SPIDER WOMAN:
        KINDA LIKE THE MIDNIGHTER.
        DAZZLER:
        EXACTLY. ALTHOUGH, I DON'T KNOW HOW
        WE WOULD KNOW THAT, SINCE MIDNIGHTER
        IS FROM A DIFFERENT FRANCHISE THAN OUR
        OWN.
        ORKO:
        WELL, SO AM I, I THINK.
        DAZZLER:
        GOOD POINT.

        Panel 4. Close on Marco.
        MARCO:
        AND ALSO, KINDA LIKE JACK HAWKSMOOR, I
        AM A GOD, BUT ONLY OF COMIC BOOKS.

        AND ONLY IN MY HEAD.

        AND HE'S KINDA SEXIER THAN ME.

        AND HE DOES THE ENGINEER SOMETIMES.

        Page 6 consists of six panels, two
        across three down.

        Panel 1. Through the fish tank, we
        see fish swimming. On the other side
        of the fish tank, we see Marco's nose
        and fingers pressed against the glass.
        MARCO:
        HI FISH. I SAVED YOU.
        FISH 1:
        (The fish says nothing because it's a
        fish. This could be illustrated with
        a talking balloon with some ellipses.)

        Panel 2. Warren Ellis has suddenly
        appeared.
        WARREN ELLIS:
        I'VE DECIDED TO GO BACK TO WRITING FOR
        MARVEL. AND I'M GOING TO WRITE
        MONTHLY FOR DAZZLER, SPIDER-WOMAN,
        POWER PACK AND GREAT LAKES AVENGERS,
        BECAUSE YOU SO SELFLESSLY SAVED THE
        LIVES OF THOSE FISH FOR YOURSELF.

        Panel 3. Close on Dazzler and Spider
        Woman and Tigra. The look like
        seductive sex kittens.
        DAZZLER:
        HEY WHAT ABOUT US? WE TOLD YOU ABOUT
        THE PURPLE MAN IN THE FIRST PLACE.
        SPIDER WOMAN:
        YEAH. WE WANNA DO YOU.
        TIGRA:
        I'M JUST HERE SO THE PREPUBESCENT
        DORKS HAVE YET ANOTHER IMAGE TO JERK
        OFF TO.

        OH, AND LET ME DO YOU, YADDA YADDA
        YADDA.

        Panel 4. Close on Marco. He is
        uncomfortable and is loosening the tie
        he wears only for this panel.
        MARCO:
        WELL, Y'SEE LADIES. ALLISON, JESSICA,
        MS. WELL, THAT IS...UM...ERR.

        Panel 5. Titan porn star, Steve
        Cannon enters between Dazzler and
        Spider Woman, pushing them to either
        side roughly. He's wearing a leather
        collar and nothing else.
        STEVE CANNON:
        OH MARCO, YOU'RE SO BRAVE FOR FACING
        THE PURPLE MAN. I THINK YOU'RE DREAMY
        AND WANT TO WORSHIP YOUR HOT BODY.

        Panel 6. Close on Marco, shrugging
        his shoulders.
        MARCO:
        UHN, OK.

        THE END
      • Erin
      • Posted
      • Marco was one of my grandmother's
        favorite people....if she had been 70
        years younger, who knows what would
        have happened? Marco is like a member
        of my family. He instituted the "Yule
        Brenner." Also, he is totally
        trouncing me on our celebrity death
        contest.
      • Nina
      • Posted
      • For a good time...run to this MAN!!
        Spending time with you is a privllage.
        I miss you sooo...
      • Regina
      • Posted
      • the piglet saw me through the great
        tetnaus scare of the summer of 2001 and
        for this, I will always be eternally
        grateful. I also like it when he sings
        the theme from mahogany to the puppies,
        though I think they tend to prefer his
        rendition of true colors more,
        especially the puppy with the old face
        and sad eyes.
      • Kendra
      • Posted
      • Marco and I met in college my
        sophomore year and I swear for no
        other reason then that we can't stop
        hanging out.. and as little as we
        share in common we can't stop
        talking.. or cough cough nudge nudge..
        that either. Anyway maybe it's a sign
        or maybe it's just cause one day we'll
        have to save Hannah from an elicit
        tabloid scandal but either way I plan
        to stick around till we are in
        diapers and don't recognize each other
        anymore.
      • Ugly
      • Posted
      • Marco's the most masculine man I know,
        but he sux at keeping in touch. He
        finds more stuff to keep on the street
        than a homeless person and wouldn't
        have sex with me when I was drunk.
        Marco asks the age old question: "is
        she a dyke or is she just ugly?"
      • Eric
      • Posted
      • MARCOR and I discovered the tumultuous
        relationship between bea arthur and betty
        white together. During the taping of a golden
        girls episode, betty screamed with glee, "Bea
        messed up her line!" Later, marco, bea and I
        were sitting around bea's dressing room after
        the taping, and bea, still furious, ran over to
        betty's empty dressing room and took a huge
        dump right in the center of her blonde
        carpeted floor. Bea returned to us, closing the
        door to her dressing room, muttering, "What a
        dump!" Later, through the haze of too much
        vodka and not enough beer, marco
        propositioned bea, adding some lame
        reasoning like his 25th birthday or something.
        Bea took him back to her modest west village
        one-bedroom apartment. Allegedly, during
        one of their more passionate moments, marco
        spat bea's dentures back into her mouth,
        pulled away from her face, looked into her
        eyes, and said, "I cunt believe I'm making out
        with bea arthur." She smiled and said, "Really,
        it's bernice frankel," as she unbuttoned his fly.
        I've always wanted that moment for myself.
      • Aisha
      • Posted
      • oh marco...what can one say really? he
        gave me (ok, I hijacked) so many great
        expressions and that head-nod like
        Jeannie. plus, he spent valentine's day
        with me, though we didn't make out or
        go to prom together. wait, we were in
        the same car - does that count?
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