Esther Loh

You won't be rich, instead you'll be sad. After a lifetime pursuing wealth and success, you'll discover that you're just not that kind of person.

You are pure and beautiful. Looking into your eyes is a religious experience. When you spread your wings men fall to their knees, and kiss the ground. Hallelujah!

You are a relaxed party-goer. You like to light up a bowl, and pass it between a few close friends. You are a master of conversation. Well-versed in the philosophies of the party, you can be a trusted source of insight. When the pot runs out, however, we expect you to call it a night. Why stay up if there is nothing to smoke?

You are a rascal, and a social deviant. You are happiest when you're causing trouble, and pissing off the authorities. A cherry bomb down the toilet or tagging your name? Who knows what you are going to do next!

You're not gay. You're flamboyant! You make every movement a dance, and every word a song. You are one for bright colors, strobing lights, and techno music.

You are a fattie! You like to eat, and you don't like to exercise. You are the typical American, and more power to you for that! Be proud of your body. After all, you have a lot of body to be proud of!

Accident, arson, there are many causes for fires. One of these causes will lead to your eventual death. You will share the fate of such greats as Joan of Arc, and heretics throughout the ages!