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come sit in my lap, I have a present for you.
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"I'm a shallow, petty and vindictive person. I spend most of my time plotting revenge for all the imagined slights I have..."
More about Hersh
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More About Hersh
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Schools (Other):
Hyderabad Public School, Twinsburg Elementary, Wilcox Elementary, French Foriegn Legion for tots.
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College/University:
Cornell University, Attended 1993 - 1997, Class of 1997, Bachelor's Degree, Computer Science
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Occupation:
Project Manager/Mouse Cleaner
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Affiliations:
United Bodice Rippers of Mongolia, Halo Players Consolidated, Cat Herders Union Lc. 108
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Hobbies and Interests:
Sleeping alone and in pairs, water (glasses of it, swimming pools full, and oceans), shelter, food, and fire.
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Favorite Books:
Stuff by Richard Dawkins, David Sedaris, Nick Hornby, Vernor Vinge, History books, comic books and books with pictures of naked people in them.
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Favorite Movies:
Snatch, Sanjuro, Clockers, High Fidelity, Indiana Jones series, Little Lord Fauntleroy (sp?)
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Favorite Music:
Finch, Envy (the Japanese one), Jadakiss, Styles P, CCR
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Favorite TV Shows:
The Wire, Samurai Jack, Seinfeld, Daily Show, Conan O'Brien, Chappelle Show, Good Eats, Samurai Champloo
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Zodiac Sign:
Taurus
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About Me:
I'm a shallow, petty and vindictive person. I spend most of my time plotting revenge for all the imagined slights I have received. Sometimes I hear voices--sometimes those voices come out of people's mouths, other times the voices come from my microwave, a bowl of cereal, or my big toe.
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Who I Want to Meet:
I'd like to meet a Bulgarian strong woman, raised from
childhood by orangutans and taught to read by kindly native
representatives of Nestle. She would currently be enrolled
at the medical school in Stanford or Harvard but finds it
difficult to adjust to human society because of her habit
of feeding with both hands and defecating on rooftops. I
of course have the same problems so we will get along
charmingly.
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Testimonials and Comments for Hersh
little dude is the biggest man i know.
(If hersh was a toy, he'd be one of
those little sponge animals that come
in those gelcaps that you stick in
water. No wonder he loves the ocean.)
I've known hersh for 10 years and would
run out of the internet before running
out of stories about him, so this will
have to do.
he has to buy shirts in the kiddie
section to save what little change he
has. And stop with that "Five dolla
suckie suckie" crap too. Just because
I'm a Chinaman, doesn't mean it will
work. I know you need the money, but
jeez, work on the accent and make it
more believable. If you see this man
on the street, please give him some
change so he stops bugging me.
he could still afford my $500 charge.
slagdish, 'insert any noun here'-dish,
whatever you want to call him, from the
unibrow he wears with pride down to the
2 perfectly shaped, glistening man-
globes we call his buttocks, hersh
truly is a gifted and special young
man. He is going through a rough time
right now as a result of his company
being absorbed by global conglomerate
Wang Computers. Ever the trooper my
friend Hersana is, you can find him at
home (don't say living w/ his parents,
that is inaccurate seeing as how
someone raised in a petri dish has no
true mother and father) taking care of
the massive goat herd, playing games on
the x-box, throat-singing, expanding
his collection of home-made samurai
shirts, journeying down a path to self
fullfilment (thirce daily!!), and with
the joy a pig shows while rolling
around in it's own slop and filth,
rolling around in a bath tub filled
with chaat while yelling kishbumbah at
the top of his lungs. Ladies, you want
to catch this man like you want to
catch a bad case of the crabs. Might I
suggest this potential icebreaker: Go
ahead and ask him how many testicles he
has, when he reveals the true number,
I'm sure you'll be as pleasantly
surprised as I was.
parents, hersh is half indian and half
flea infested mongrel yet forever
prepubescent and gnome-like. this man
has the indubitable claim to fame of
having fornicated with only one
person: himself. And this in a way so
vile and reprehensible that his mere
effigy is banned in all majority muslim
countries. a lover of boy bands and
cinematic full frontal male nudity,
Hersh is always well equipped with
generous and copious amounts of baby
oil when attending both concert or
movie. if you need advice or
comforting words, come not to Hersh but
if you need a gentle bludgeoning about
the chest and groin, he is your man.
brown friend. Emenating a slight curry
smell which mixes well with his Old
Spice aftershave, he enjoys being
pushed around in shopping carts while
drunk, wearing party hats in San Diego
and flopping around in the sand,
stealing Turd's female interests,
hanging with doofuses named Korby,
Jablow and Pius as well as trying to
look cool on his chopper. Although I've
never seen him naked, he assures me
he's quite smooth so bears need not
apply.