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"I'm the one on the right. um...tall and skinny, smarter
than i often realize, opposed
to capitalization, black irish,..."
More about John
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Messaging Off[Restricted to John's friends] |
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Schools (Other):
Carleton College, University of Minnesota, Pimpin' Ain't Easy Polytechnic
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College/University:
Carleton College, Attended 1991 - 1994, Other, drinking
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Occupation:
music store owner
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Affiliations:
Big V's, Triple Rock, Whiskey, Cheap and godawful beer, 1924 Feronia Ave., The Freemasons.
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Hobbies and Interests:
destroying "clear channel", odd music, odd books, indie films, bad art, bulldada, the political fringe, i play bass and violin and a bunch of other things (not nearly as well as the first two), dogs playing poker, mint juleps, monkeys
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Favorite Books:
house of leaves, the cheese monkeys, motherless brooklyn, infinite jest, finley wren - phillip wylie, sula, all that mcsweeney's stuff, pale fire - nabakov, winters tale - mark helprin, house of leaves - mark danielewski
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Favorite Movies:
cremaster 1-5, miller's crossing, brazil, donnie darko, city of lost children, tim burton thingys (perhaps not planet of the apes. grunt.)
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Favorite Music:
refused, sleepytime gorilla museum, squarepusher, foetus, firewater, louis prima, eels, dead kennedys, nomeansno, bruch, oingo boingo, devo, jawbox, brainiac, tomahawk, skeleton key, buck 65, themselves, everything anticon, kid koala, goldfrapp, moloko
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Favorite TV Shows:
tv makes me want to kill. that is why i (and all right thinking americans) love tv. we need more quality killing.
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Zodiac Sign:
Pisces
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About Me:
I'm the one on the right. um...tall and skinny, smarter
than i often realize, opposed
to capitalization, black irish, easily bored, tendency to
speak out of turn, politically inebriated and
disenfranchised, morally opposed to having a real job,
the kind where you go to work and hate your life and
drink your way through lunch and then go home and
beat your kids out of frustration - those jobs are not
good. work for yourself and be poor...it's fun and
terrifying at the same time! Subgenius.
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Who I Want to Meet:
i love you all. fuck yourselves.
Not to continue grinding away at a subject that you are all sick of hearing, but if you continue to attend clear channel shows, you are no longer allowed to get even a grudging amount of respect from me. You are evil, and will be punished by a living hell of bland music and closed venues. So stop doing it. Now. I'll be checking up on you...
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show with when I have no idea what band
will be playing. I have been introduced
to more interesting, soulful, and
comedic music in the past year and a
half of living with John than in the
prior 24 years
Other than that, don't trust him. I
think he's stealing the water.
Everytime I take a shower the water
disapears down the drain -- somehow
John always manages to dodge my
inquiries. I think the other roomates
caught him in the act and he has
blackmailed them into moving out on us;
one after another... after another,
after another, after another. Roomates
run into the dark night and never come
back. I saw John licking his chops
once. How could you?!
I can't remember what the something
else was. But we hate it.
he admits it or not, jj owes me:
one drink
one wristband or some wristband action
one mixtape
one mix cd
and one or many violin lessons.
take that.
because he is a little stingy with the
testimonials. he obviously never had to
share testimonials as a petite lad, thusly has
no experience with the sharing of the
testimonials now!
(arms folded, foot tapping....)
that was before I knew him, and I
would never shoot him again. John is
high on my elite Favorite People of
All Time list, because of his absolute
aunthentic sincere dorky geeked-out
coolness. And because of his staying
power. And because we can pee race. He
also has a fantastic memory filled
with all of the really important
things, like what we were singing when
we rode the city bus over a decade
ago, and what Mike was wearing during
a certain run-in with the law, and
what my father said when he tried to
phone me after my nuptials. John is
trusting and genuine and enthusiastic.
He is a gem. He is every cliche you
can think up, and more. I used to
rendez-vous with John approximately
once every six years, but I think
that's all about to change... we're
neighbors now.
his collection with a goat bleeting
while a cheerleader cries and he'll
find it and play it for you. He's the
bomb like that.
tawdry love affair there isn't a whole
lot that Sir John the Hopeful and
Eternally Distracted hasn't done for
me. Besides expanding the bounds
of my social sphere and introducing
me to things that otherwise would be
far too hip for little ol' me, John has
taught me how to properly fall asleep
in the middle of a sentence and how
to correctly eat and enjoy an Oreo
cookie and Chubby Hubby ice-cream
at four in the morning. John is the
only man I have ever met who can
make cookie crumbs in the bed
seem endearing, really work it in a
pair of platform lumberjack boots,
and chat unashamed with all the
girls about the finer points of
bridesmaids' dresses and the
details of planning a wedding. In fact
he can do all three at once without
missing a beat, all the while making
cheap beer look like a rare taste
treat. Truly an epicure when it comes
to the liquor cabinet, John can
expound on the differences between
Milwaukees Best Special Reserve
and Milwaukee's Best Special
Reserve Ice. Along with what
cheeses go best with shots of
Pumpkin Smash and Popcorn
Schnapps. Of course, sometimes I
have to peel the ladies away from
him with a putty knife but it's all worth
it because in the end I'm still the only
one who can call him Johnny J.J.
without getting a swift kick in the ribs.