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"when i was a kid, i tried to memorize my freckle patterns and point them out to my mom, so she would know if i was ever..."
More about dnkypunch'rella
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Schools (Other):
school of hard knocks. or is it knockers? whatever. i was high the whole time.
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Occupation:
aggressively unemployed lawyer/bacon farmer
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Affiliations:
we can span time together, just don't touch me
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Hobbies and Interests:
overthinking/-analyzing, overindulgence, brazen lounging, instant gratification, art [klee, gursky, metzger, whitfield, soule, wilson, bontecou, ryden, sorren, rothko, sieben, schiele, r.land...], spooning, butt humping, crazy hobos, space, ocean depths, bookworming, cheese, video games, snowboarding, salad tossing, poker, chess, legos, magic sand, red hots and other sweet sweet candies, meat!
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Favorite Books:
spec-fi/-ish (e.g., shorts circa '34-'63, snow crash, fairyland, demolished man, ender's game, rendezvous w/ rama, dune, left hand of darkness, startide rising), hawkline monster, missing piece+big o; hesse, sedaris, chabon, franzen, lethem, neruda, irving, foer, calvino, silverstein
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Favorite Movies:
p.t. anderson, wes anderson, kaufman, coen bros., jarmusch, guest; dirty rotten scoundrels, princess bride, the jerk, clash of the titans, safe men, spellbound, thief of baghdad, labyrinth, iron giant, spaceballs, bananas, neverending story, beastmaster, adventures of baron munchausen, rosencrantz & guildenstern are dead, top secret, patton, three amigos, cousins, like water for chocolate, homemade porn, wet hot american summer
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Favorite Music:
indie/-ish, e.g., modest mouse, built to spill, neutral milk hotel, operation ivy, pavement, pixies, seam, trail of dead, minor threat, turbonegro, bedhead, descendents, minutemen, tarawa, 400 blows, ashtray, beastie boys (well, paul's boutique), cat power, belle & sebastian, my bloody valentine, kleenex girl wonder, otis redding, can, etc., etc...
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Favorite TV Shows:
simpsons, curb your enthusiasm, strangers w/ candy, deadwood, daily show, aqua teen, venture bros., sealab, six feet under, ali g, family guy, wpt, glick, mr. show, sifl&olly, mst3k, reno 911!, sopranos, law&order(s), monster house/garage, larry sanders, st:ng, west wing, plenty of discovery/TLC/nat'l geo./history channel stuff...
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Zodiac Sign:
Gemini
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About Me:
when i was a kid, i tried to memorize my freckle patterns and point them out to my mom, so she would know if i was ever replaced by a robot imposter. * i am blessed with two terrifically handsome and freaky tube cats who rule my life. * i'm good with spelling and grammar, but perhaps overly familiar with commas, semicolons, parentheses, and hyphens, not to mention run-on sentences. * my bones might just be made of lead. * my teeth chatter at odd times. * i have a [too] hearty appetite for all kindsa stuff. * i'm bright but procrastinate to extreme--no, more like X-treme! degrees. * i would love to swim with tigers. * after i swim with dolphins. * and whale sharks. * i have a considerable problem with tardiness. * i feel like a total fucking dork right now. * yes, i watch too much tv. climb off. * i can be crude. very. (big deal.) * i eat too many nuts. * i'm all about rocking the sneakers and tees. * and other methodologies that emphasize maximum comfort+minimum effort. * oh, and good clean strong teeth, they're super important. * living under the sea is pretty much my answer to everything. * i like backing that ass up. * my favorite childhood daydream involved having a pet unicorn/pegasus that could shrink down small enough to fit in my pocket while at school. * okay, that's still my favorite daydream. * i've found love on the internet, and am even willing to admit it. (shut up. most everyone still sucks eggs.) * i need to leave the house more, but i hate people... so... much... * i like to touch flowers. * i'm currently accepting donations. * i consider tomatoes to be the most poisonous of all raw fruits and cooked vegetables. * i just might use the word "just" just a little too much. * wait, did i say i'm not prone to rambling? well, i guess i'm a big fat liar, too.
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Who I Want to Meet:
cowboys. injuns. lemur walkers. wordsmiths. banterers. rock candy miners. monkey puzzle trees. air hockey playmates. sea dragons. those with admirable jib cuts. who are foxy. raw whole cashews. short bus friends. four-square champions. horse and/or dog and/or butterfly whisperers. folks recommended by 4 out of 5 dentists. non-fucktards. fellow rage-aholics. donkeypunchers. sugar gliders. people obsessed with my forbidden closet of mystery.
*any/all of the above must be able to make me laugh till someone wets my pants.
*bonus points for robert evans, han solo, ricky jay, bill hicks, lenny bruce, any decent tv magic queers, master shake, your mama.
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dolphins, she donky punches them! and
the dolphins love it so much they donkey
punch her back. donkey punchers.
wastelands of South Flor-duh. How
could you, my dark princess? You
nevah cawl, you nevah write... I've taken
to the drink, and shall soon be found
sprawled on a chaise lounge, having
overdosed on laudanum, if you don't
rescue me by telephoning my ass
posthaste. xoxoxo
Michelle is a good time. She's a sweetheart:
one who looks you in the eye when she talks
to you because she has nothing to hide.
She's smart as a whip, knows what's up, and
gives a shit. There is nothing more I could
ask of a friend.
testimonial this lesbian left on my
page.
right up my alley( in reference to your
testimonial). Other items that fall into
the "up my alley" category are:
cocker spaniels wearing South-Western
style vests;
foreign elderly short, squat ladies or
gents with laughs sounding like blood
and metal;
thats about it
being as you hadn't been spotted on
earth in many months. Finally, when I
touched down I was told you were
actually in the great blue unknown,
underwater in the archipelago, a
manned scuba sphere searching for a
live specimen of a giant squid. Glad to
hear you're still alive, and tonight, we
feast on squid!!
sweetest birds of all. I know because I
am one. And she's my #1.
cooler than me. maybe even on the verge
of exceeding school's coolness
capacity. whatevs, man. whatevs.
like to be a ThrillHo too?!? Come on,
everybody! Sing it with me!
something b/c everybody and their
FUCKING mom wrote a testimonial on
homegirl...I thought she liked to
type...It seems that all her friends do
too...Cool chick...Funny...Thinks I'm
cool...More articulate on paper than
me...More tatoos than me...Knows L.A.
better than me..Knows Florida better
than me...Knows more about Quantum
Meruit than me...Talks to Celeste more
than me...Enough coolness for now...