Evan Jacobs

Oak Lane Day School, 參加 1986 - 1991
William Penn Charter Sch, 參加 1992 - 1999, 年 1999

Penn Charter, University of Chicago (2003 BA in Mathematics), and The American Comedy Institute.

University of Chicago, 參加 1999 - 2003, 年 2003, 學士學位, Mathematics

Comedian

I belong to AARP, NAACP, NATO, UAE, NCAA, KKK, MADD, NASA, PLO, WTF, DARE, FDNY, ROFL, and FUBAR.

Sleeping, Eating, Going to the Bathroom, Petting People's Dogs Without Permission, Arguing, Being Smug, Being Insecure, Yelling at People While Drunk, Misdemeanors

Where's Waldo

Pulp Fiction, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Pather Panchali, Singing in the Rain, Schindler's List, Star Wars . . . a bunch of others

Radiohead, Beatles, Presidents of the United States of America, OutKast, Rush, Elton John, Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye, Temptations, Sly and the Family Stone, Grandmaster Flash, Lakeside, Blondie, Tenacious D, O'Jays, ELO, Big Snoop Dogg, Motown, Oldies, Les Miserables

Futurama, The Wire, The Colbert Report, Venture Brothers, Big Brother, Simpsons, Conan, Daily Show, Mr. Show, South Park, King of the Hill, Strangers with Candy, 24, The Critic, American Dad, Star Trek, Stella, 48 Hours Mystery, Dateline, The Dog Whisperer, Nova, Nature, Deadwood, Frontline, Cartoons

I'm a nice guy with bad habits. I love good movies, but still go out and watch summer blockbusters. I love cats but I think dogs are ok. I'm a bad influence but a good friend. I am empathetic and caring but obnoxious and wise-assed. I make friends easily but hate people for very little reason.

I am in New York pursuing stand-up comedy while the rest of you pursue monetary interests instead of your dreams. Meanwhile, I live with two roommates from the University of Chicago, from which I graduated with a B.A. in Mathematics, while the rest of you were getting B.A.s for applicable things.

Otherwise, I'm the same old Evan, unless you knew me from Highschool. In that case, I am a brand new Evan, who is at least twenty seven percent "cooler." Other than that, the only things I can say about me is that I am a perfect human specimen, except for a single flaw: my penis is abnormally large. I'm gonna have to get a reduction.

Besides incredibly beautiful women who are romantically interested in me? Whoever, I don't care. Old friends from school might be nice. But, you all seem to be too important to talk to me. Whatever, have it your way. See if I care. I'm not bitter. This profile is subject to change.