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i'm holding my newphew in this picture. but, i don't want you to see that because i hate children.
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"I was born at North Shore University Hospital in Great Neck, NY. From the moment I emerged from the womb, all who made my..."
More about Jamie
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Occupation:
Singer/Songwriter
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Hobbies and Interests:
hugging, talking, excel and psycho-analysis
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Favorite Books:
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, all Harry Potters, 100 Years of Solitude, Nine Stories
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Favorite Movies:
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Adaptation, You Can Count on Me, Star Wars, the Sound of Music, Dirty Dancing, Who's Afriad of Viriginia Wolf, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
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Favorite Music:
fuck it, why not? Jamie Stellini
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Favorite TV Shows:
Six Feet Under, Arrested Development
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Zodiac Sign:
Pisces
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About Me:
I was born at North Shore University Hospital in Great Neck, NY. From the moment I emerged from the womb, all who made my aquaintance had only lovely things to say about my dimpled, cherubic face and near-perfect c-cup baby breasts. My aunts and uncles were astonished when I learned half of the alphabet at 3 months, and somewhat less impressed when I finally learned the other half at the end of my senior year of high school.
I spent most of my young adulthood on the shores of the morbidly oppressive strip of land known as "Long Island," toiling away at my mother's piano in an effort to learn the entire score to Les Miserables. In my Freshman year of college I was tapped to play Mary Todd Lincoln in a biopic for Lifetime Television, only to be booted from the project three weeks into shooting amid rumors of heavy drug use and beastiality. I have not landed a film role since, but, have managed to maintain close contact with my former costar, Melissa Gilbert.
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Who I Want to Meet:
han solo. i want to rape han solo and i want him to impregnate me. then i want to birth han solo's child and rape him/her too.
http://www.myspace.com/jamiestellini
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apple picking helping to pluck Jamie's
stray hairs and then discussing how
satisfying it is to pluck, much to the
dismay of our driver David. And I will
always be grateful to Jamie for alone
being responsible for ending my 9 year
fast from fast food. And my vegetarian
hiatus can be traced directly to one
unforgettable night involving some jerky
from Montana that she provided. Thank
you, thank you. I still dream of the day
we can watch Dirty Dancing together.
Nobody puts baby in the corner. Nobody.
Jamie? I suggest you check out the
film "Sling Blade"; it was based upon
her life.
that can keep up with me using the
paddle. That girl can really knock the
balls around and keep you on the edge
up until the game is blown. Yeah man,
the chick's got serious, serious
balls..................and not just at
ping-pong.
most talented people I know -- I lament
the fact that she's 3000 miles away! J -
this just means you need to come to
San Fran for a l'il vacation and
quality catch-up time :) MISS YOU MUCH!
where everybody totally adores and is
in love with her. At first I thought
that the people around her had been
planted there by the government, but
then my own close friends started
spontaneously falling in love with her
as well when I would take them with me
to open mics she sang at. Possibly my
own friends are also actually
government plants, but I prefer to hope
not. yeah.
experience your life in a different, better
way. But I'm not telling her that until I get the
dinner she owes me.
not really sure why. She seems to make
some odd choices sometimes. An example
that comes to mind is that she
febreezes her puss puss and her shit
shit. Since her childhood Jamie has
always been real obsessed with
deodorizing. She had a gerbil for 37
days and she loved him and named him
Herbert. One rainy afternoon, when she
was spending the day on her couch
watching re-runs of Coach, the smell
began to overwhelm her. She ran to her
neatly organized shoe rack which hangs
perfectly on the inside door of her
closet, and took her Arm and Hammer
foot deodorizer. She sprayed poor
Herbert and the entirety of his cage,
grinned with satisfaction, and returned
to her Coach episode. Herbert died of
suffocation 45 minutes later. He died
while Jamie laid there seemingly
entranced by Asst. Coach Luther Van
Dam's snoring problem and the slapstic
humor that occurred while Coach was
spending a night in the same room as
him. The point of this story is that
Jamie should accept natural odors or
her vagina will become so rotten with
febreeze toxins that when she decides
to make sex, no one will want to. Oh
yeah- and that stuff can't be good for
her asshole either.
The guy before her sang a song about a
blade of grass, and the guy before that
i think might have had a rainbow-
striped guitar strap. Maybe not.
Anyway, when she got up and sang,
everyone in the whole damn place --
even the people who had tried to escape
the open mic by fleeing to other nooks
in the coffee shop, who were in the
midst of erecting sound-proof cabins
around their spindly tables -- EVERYONE
was staring at Jamie, because she
rocks. And because she was singing a
song about masturbation.
generous testimonial you gave me,
Jamie?
Jamie's the only person in the world
who has ever seen, by daylight, my
puckered, glorious anus. It's a moment
we will both cherish. Forever.
were low. Italy was moving up the
field, little pixel feet shuffling.
Greece was scared. There was a hush in
the stadium ... as 40,000 little
placard waving people took a nintendo
breath. And then she SCORED. The 40
ounce was spilled. She did the "I'm
gonna take you in the ass" dance that
only Jamie can pull off while smiling.
And i knew at that moment, that I was
in the shadow of greatness. Jamie is
all things musical, and anal. And to
that, I submit.