Adam

You won't be rich, instead you'll be sad. After a lifetime pursuing wealth and success, you'll discover that you're just not that kind of person.

Cute people are highly suspicious! Because you're cute, people naturally trust you. That trust, however, may be misplaced. Often a cute demeanor is merely the cover for a nefarious person.

You are a rascal, and a social deviant. You are happiest when you're causing trouble, and pissing off the authorities. A cherry bomb down the toilet or tagging your name? Who knows what you are going to do next!

You aren't fat. You're buff! Your muscular body drives them all crazy with lust. Your strong arms are helpful when moving automobiles and other large objects, and your strong legs propel you quickly towards any goal. You're awesome.

Your last sight will be your own air bubbles rising to a distant water surface. Morbid, I know! But also romantic! Drowning, whether in a bathtub or in the expansive ocean, is a classic way to go.