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My action shot of Miles shaking.
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"--> sailorbeware.com (listen to the new "radio show" i just posted for winter '06...on main page click the ear at the bottom..."
More about Two gun
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More About Two gun
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Schools (Other):
The O'Reilly Factor for Kids
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College/University:
Northwest College of the Assemblies of God, Attended 1969 - 1969, Postdoctoral, 1st Corinthians
Immaculata College, Attended 1942 - 1947, Class of 1947, Other, Immaculata
Alaska Bible College, Attended 1902 - 1931, Class of 1931, Associate's Degree, Leviticus
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Occupation:
Insomnia & asymmetriphobia
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Affiliations:
NRA, NAMBLA, NSA..........and www.sailorbeware.com
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Hobbies and Interests:
Gerontoloy and putrefaction. Halloween and Purim.
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Favorite Books:
Current: Stiff, Animals in Translation, The luckiest hunter alive, Dominence & Affection, Taxidermy step by step, Saying goodbye to the pet you love, Cold noses at the pearly gates, Never have your dog stuffed, Kubler-Ross, Spook, etc...
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Favorite Movies:
Fletch, Office Space, Best in Show, Heavenly Creatures, Gun Crazy, Cape Fear, Cry Baby, Beyond The Valley of The Dolls, Cool as Ice, Harold & Maude, The Beaver Trilogy, Coal Miners Daughter, Beetlejuice, Gimme Shelter, Willy Wonka, City Slickers, Almost Famous, Flashback, The Buddy Holly Story, Good Morning Vietnam, Tadpole, The Parent Trap, Velvet Goldmine, Trapped in the Closet, Mr. Ts Be Somebody...or Be Somebody's Fool, Igby Goes Down, Terms of Endearment, Any Singing Cowboy Movie, The Last Waltz, Grey Gardens, Spinal Tap, Parents, Gates of Heaven, Hairspray, Amadeus, Lifetime made for TV (esp. For The Love of Nancy starring everyone's favorite anorexic, Tracy Gold.)
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Favorite Music:
Alice Cooper, Loretta Lynn, Dicks, Elmer Snowden, David Berman/Silver Jews, Hank Sr., Serge Gainsbourg, Mountain Goats, Francoise Hardy, Wanda Jackson, Roy Rogers, Gene Autry, Neil Young, Bob Dylan, Tom Waits, The Andrews Sisters, The Boswell Sisters, Ernest Tubb, The Inkspots, Annette Funicello, Bob Wills, Django Reinhart, BTS, Ma Rainey, Bessie Smith, Ida Cox, Belle & Sebastian, Bix Beiderbecke, MC Solaar, Buffalo Springfield, Nick Drake, Kitty Wells, The Monkees, Freakwater, The Band, Big Bill Broonzy, DK, Dirty Three, Jimmy Cliff, Jimbo Mathus (especially his Knockdown Society), Buddy Holly, Pixies, Damien Jurado, Misfits, Billie Holiday, Super XX Man, Sam Cooke, The Brunettes, Clap Your Hands Say Yowza!, CSNY, Sister Rosetta Tharpe, Johnny Cash, Devo, Ronettes, Shangri-Las, The Shirelles, Donovan, Rachel's, Daniel Johnston, Robert Johnson, Blind Willie Dixon, Big Maybelle, Chuck Berry, Rose Maddox, The Cure, Eazy-E, Eddie Cochran, Patsy Montana, Will Oldham, Fats Waller, Brenda L
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Favorite TV Shows:
Twin Peaks, Strangers With Candy, Emergency Vets, Reno 911, Arrested Development, Animal Precinct, Six Feet Under, Talk Sex with Sue Johanson, American Idol, Top Chef, Curb Yr Enthusiasm, Young Ones, Daily Show, ANTM, Realtime with Bill Maher, Croc Hunter (RIP Steve), Discovery Health - especially Plastic Surgery Disasters, Weeds, etc... And CSI. I want to make sweet sweet love to Gil Grissom.
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Zodiac Sign:
Capricorn
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About Me:
--> sailorbeware.com (listen to the new "radio show" i just posted for winter '06...on main page click the ear at the bottom right.)
--> stringsofmyheart.com
--> myspace.com/twogunmathildalovesjesus
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Who I Want to Meet:
I'm looking for someone mediocre, someone average, someone prepubescent. Also someone who likes redundancy. Also someone who likes redundancy. Someone who knows either Yiddish or Esperanto would be nice, as I would like to learn both.
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Testimonials and Comments for Two gun
But I will *always* respect you regardless.
one in a million. Plus she can talk
anyone out of their clothes for a grad
school video project in hopes of
being discovered and going on to be
on the next cover of SI-Swimsuit
Edition. She is that good.
Once she found out I was "ethnic," she
was all up in my shit. Vive la Two Gun!
pantalones.
lovers who used to bask in the glory
of the mohegan sun many a time
ago. Alas, she left me to pursue a
career as the only female 4-string
banjo pedi-cabbie in NYC, leaving
me to wander the streets of NYC
aimlessly until i met the man who
would eventually come to be known
as my he-pimp, Marcus Gonzales IV,
who took me into a life of stripdom
and neverending meaniingless sex
with women whom i would never see
again....hmmm. Anyhow, O Two-
Gun, how i miss thee. My loins yearn
for one more stroke of your banjo.....if
only i can be so lucky.....
me, I feel that I should expand on our
relationship with more "in depth" and less
"heroin" (SEE: Larry King)......................
Yes, it is true. I was once the kid next door to
Vicky on "Small Wonders." And it is also true
that Amy once stalked me, but only because
she thought I was Nicolas Cage's son (which is
also true, but a different story). But what
ISN'T TRUE is the fact that she CAN play the
banjo. I know, I know... this is all shocking
news to you, but THE TRUTH MUST BE TOLD!
Two Gun is a fraud! She has a bionic arm,
which does all the real "playing and a nifty
vocoder attached to really work out the
singing/translating (at least she programmed
the lyrics). The evidence is here: http://
a.parsons.edu/~brant/dextra.jpg . She
bought the machine, "Dextra ($14.95 from
eBay, $9.45 used), to fraudulently create a
cheap show, and you all were part of it.
Curtains "DOWN, Scene "END. But this time,
there is no applause. (SEE: Milli Vanilli) Girl
you know it's, Girl you know it's, Girl you
know it's, Girl you know it's, Girl you know
it's, Girl you know it's, Girl you know it's ...