Luke

FSU(Florida State Univ)

Florida State University, Attended 1991 - 1994, Class of 1994, Bachelor's Degree, Mathematics, Risk Management

Manager - Actuarial Services

Chesterfield Jaycees, NOTC(National Orange Toga Club), AVBP(Association of Very Big Paddles), FSU

collect, collate and trade 18th century socal complements, cold pizza, warm beer

Oh The Places You'll Go

Austin Powers

Cake, Hip hop, bluegrass, anything Easter

Law & Order, Spongebob Squarepants, anything Easter

The details of my life are quite inconsequential. My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian woman named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.

Anyone with a 30-foot bamboo pole who's able to get my gerbal, "Sidney," out of his current dilemma. Must have own toga, willing to travel, and should be free of bunions.